Living in Hyde Park presents unlimited inspiration for gags about academics. Here’s yet another in that vein on the Chicago Machine site.
News: Corpse Discovered Outside Rainbow Cone Ice Cream Shop Leads to Loss of Michelin Star
I’ve written a few articles for The Chicago Machine. This was my first. Some might call this a “fake” or “satirical” news site. I prefer to say it’s news about events that haven’t happened yet.
Short Story: The Coffee Shop
The Clients, the band with whom I played bass, once performed at a black-tie fundraiser. The tickets cost $275 apiece. So I would tell people, “Yes, you can come hear me play, but it will cost you 275 bucks, because I’m that good.”
In a similar vein, I have a new short story out, “The Coffee Shop“. You can read it, but it’s only available in hardcover, and it costs $70. It’s an anthology of comic mysteries called “Die Laughing” put out by the same folks who run the magazine, Mystery Weekly. It’s a whopping 511 pages, so you’re only paying 14¢ per page. My story takes up 15 of those pages.
Short Story: Frozen
And now for something completely different: London is home to a collection of actors called the Liars’ League. Once a month they commandeer a bar and stage a reading of five short stories, They picked one of mine, “Frozen”, to include in their most recent round. It was billed by the director as, “a darkly comic tale of camping and nudity” – a description I could not possibly improve upon.
It was performed by Sophie Cartman, who did an amazing job – I could listen to her say “marshmallow” all day long. A million thanks to Sophie (1.2 million after you convert it from British pounds).
11 minutes.
Short Story: A Fine Spring Day
Yes, it’s been awhile, but here’s a new story. finally. “A Fine Spring Day” is up on the Spank the CARP site. Go ahead, give it a try – other than three minutes of your life, what have you got to lose ?
Short Story: School Cutbacks
I wrote this piece about home schooling the children long before the quarantine got started, but it proved to be one the most (well, probably the only) prescient things I’ve ever done. It’s on a comedy site called Defenestration. Two minutes is all I ask.
Short Story: The Ecolodge
It’s been a while since I’ve had an oddball sci-fi piece put up someplace, but Jokes Review came through for me (and you – they came through for you too!). It will take a scant 4 minutes of your time.
Short Story: Poll Results Suggest 50% of Participants Think this Date Will Lead to Something
I’m happy to have another piece up on Little Old Lady Comedy. It’ll only take two minutes to read, so there’s really no reason not to do it right now, especially if you’re currently on a date.
Short Story: A Flight Attendant Reveals – They Pay Attention, Now That I Start the Safety Demonstration with “I’m Not Racist, But…”
Months ago, the line, “I’m not racist, but” – followed by something entirely mundane – started as a joke in my standup comedy routine. I couldn’t make it work right, so I dropped it. But I kept thinking about it, and eventually birthed this story. It’s on a site called Little Old Lady Comedy. It’ll take barely two minutes to read.
Travel: A Shakespearean Tragedy on a Paraguayan Ranch
We went to Paraguay in 2017. I wrote “A Shakespearean Tragedy on a Paraguayan Ranch” about one aspect of our stay there. It took me a long time to find a publisher with the sense of humor required for this particular piece, but Danse Macabre fits the bill nicely. A three-minute read.