The Fargo Marathon

I was in the locker room with four other masters runners. One of our group made notice of another’s arm warmers. They’re so light and sheer, said the first, unlike any he’d ever seen before. Who makes them? The owner giggled sheepishly, looked around, and confessed: they’re his wife’s pantyhose. All of us were married with children, and thus, no stranger to oddball displays of ingenuity. There were high-fives all around. Continue reading “The Fargo Marathon”

The San Francisco Marathon

Gimme Shelter

I stepped out of the darkness into the dim yellow glow of the electric light. I lifted up my shirt to show the hulk in the brown leather jacket the number pinned to my singlet. He nodded and grunted, “Have a good race”.

From the safety of my corral, I noticed that all the guards wore brown leather jackets. I looked closer: all the jackets were adorned with a collection of Harley Davidson patches. Really? They hired a motorcycle gang for security duties? Are the race organizers not familiar with the fable of the Rolling Stones’ Altamont concert? The moral of the story: do not get a motorcycle gang to be responsible for security at your event. Perhaps the organizers calculated that everyone in attendance is a marathoner and, in case of trouble, can just run away? Continue reading “The San Francisco Marathon”

The Little Rock Marathon

When a Race’s Logo Foreshadows its Own Cancellation

The orange goo oozed down the windows, casting the cabin in an eerie Halloween glow. I had never been on a plane while it was being de-iced before. It was an airplane that was supposed to be on its way to Little Rock, Arkansas, where the next day I would be running in the city’s eponymous marathon. Today, I had to get to Little Rock’s convention center in time to pick up my race number. When scheduling the flight I had allotted a couple extra hours for contingencies, so there was no need to panic just yet, but delays at O’Hare during the winter have a tendency to become sentient, and start fighting for their own survival. We needed to get going. Continue reading “The Little Rock Marathon”

The Quad Cities Marathon

A Weekend Spent Crossing the Mississippi

The hail of bullets shredded the front tire of his motorcycle, sending him sliding into a pomegranate vendor. He staggered to his feet, looking around wildly for a sign of his would-be assassin. A flock of startled pigeons near the narrow entryway to a cobblestoned alley gave it away. He bounded to his feet and sprinted toward the alley. I shook my head, “You’re going out too hard. Continue reading “The Quad Cities Marathon”

The Rock n Roll Half-Marathon

A Musical Tour Through Downtown Chicago

The Rock n Roll Marathon Series is a corporate entity spawned in the late 1990s. One of their first races, a June marathon in San Diego, was a disaster. Marathon day was much warmer than expected, there wasn’t enough water, and at a post-race press conference the race director, in a quote he desperately and futilely tried to retract,  Continue reading “The Rock n Roll Half-Marathon”