One-stop shopping for all my short stories, sketch shows, standup acts, musical whoop-de-dos, and any other public indecencies.
A Weekend at Sleeping Bear Dunes
The college girls came bouncing past us in their bikinis. Itsy-bitsy, teenie-weenie, and polka-dotted. I was propped up against one of the only trees large enough to create any appreciable shade. I didn’t have the energy to ogle the polka-dots. I sighed and dragged myself to my feet Continue reading “Sandy”
Tourists considering the Netherlands for a vacation probably envision a smooth lager at an Amsterdam cafe table, one snuggled between a tulip vendor and a canal. That is entirely appropriate; the country’s most famous son, Vincent Van Gogh, painted pictures of flowers and cafes. One look at “Cafe Terrace at Night” will make any sane person want to order up a carafe and a cheese plate. A vacation in the Netherlands based on Van Gogh’s work would be very pleasant indeed (if also impossible; many of his paintings were done while he lived in France). But that vacation would be missing the Dutchest experience I had while I was there, because Van Gogh never painted a picture of an exhausted family on bicycles pedaling furiously through the dark and the rain, fueled on by a lunch of fried horse meat. Continue reading “Going Dutch”
A strict hierarchy governs the list of objects that can hold our childrens’ attention. Any body of water ranks high. Drilling down a little, moving water trumps standing water. Knowing this, I directed them towards the little waterfall. They’ll be playing there for hours, I presumed with a confident smirk. But as they approached the waterfall an enormous koi swam by in the pond, torpedoing my presumption. Continue reading “Getcher Zen On”